September 12, 2012. 11am.
It’s been 9 months since that day. At around this time (6:22am) I was already awake in my hospital room at The Medical City, waiting to be prepped for the major surgeries that were going to take place that day. I was waiting to be brought to the hospital’s Nuclear Medicine Department for that all important “blue dye” shot that would travel to my lymph nodes. The surgeon needed this to be done so that she can identify the 3 lymph nodes she had to excise for testing. An extra procedure I gave her the go-signal to do so that we can find out right away if the cancer had spread to that part of my body. After an hour and a few extremely rare tears shed (that shot was PAINFUL!!!), I was back in the room with family and friends who wanted to pray for me and see me before I was taken into the OR.
It was at this time that I really felt the most helpless since I was told I had breast cancer weeks before. I lay on the bed in the waiting area of the OR and started to cry uncontrollably. It was a combination of fear and sadness, because my Dad suddenly occupied my thoughts. I kept asking God and him to be there for and with me all throughout the surgeries. Before I knew it and just seconds after my Anaesthesiologist told me she was going to put me to sleep, I lost consciousness. I didn’t wake up in the Recovery Room. Probably because the anaesthesia was so intense. I first opened my eyes as they were wheeling me back into my room on the 7th floor. It was Mama and my other helper who were there and it was late at night. I specifically told N to go home to be with the kids and not wait for me to come out of recovery. I was too groggy to ask but I was itching to know how the Frozen Section Biopsy (of my lymph nodes) went. I think I fell right back to sleep the minute my body touched my bed that night and woke up early the following day to wait for N to take Mama’s place.
As soon as I regained consciousness, my first question to them was this : Did they tell you if the cancer had spread? Did the biopsy turn out negative? And their answer was a very ecstatic YES THEY TOLD US EVEN BEFORE SURGERY ENDED AND YES IT TURNED OUT NEGATIVE!
That same day, the Anaesthesiologist came to see me to tell me the story. My Breast Surgeon, as soon as she opened up my left breast, saw how big the tumor was. It was 4cm. Everyone in the OR thought it was almost impossible for my lymph nodes to be uncompromised, given the size of the growth. They were all so shocked when the Pathologist came back about an hour later with her findings on the lymph nodes. They were all negative of cancer. In my Breast Surgeon’s own words, “Your cancer was so behaved it didn’t move! The tumor was big so I expected a few of your lymph nodes to be affected, but none were. All of them are okay.”.
You just can’t imagine what kind of joy I felt the moment N and Mama gave me the good news. It was my first ever taste of relief ever since the diagnosis and it felt heavenly. If only it were possible, I would’ve gone down on my knees to pray and thank the heavens for this gigantic blessing.
The cancer was in the tumor and nowhere else. September 12, 2012 was the day I technically became CANCER-FREE (the chemo cycles that followed were part of protocol and were only needed as a security measure, not to target any remaining cancer cells specifically).
So yeah, today I also remember my very own Independence Day 9 months ago, and how liberating it felt! I can’t believe it’s been that long.
To God be all the glory … always!
HAPPY PHILIPPINE INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL OF US!
