Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Less Than A Week To Go




There's no date set for my 2nd chemo cycle yet, because everything will depend on my blood test results. I'm getting those tests tomorrow and seeing my Onco with them on the next day. This is protocol for chemo. The doctor needs to make sure your body is ready for each upcoming infusion.

As the week draws near, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I'm not sure if it's all part of the anxiety or because everyone around me has been sick. Before the first cycle last Oct 23, I remember telling my Onco that I felt like I was coming down with something and she immediately dismissed it as stress because I was nervous. She was right, I didn't get sick at all.

Here's a confession : I am a bit nervous again even if I already know what to expect. I think it's more psychological than anything. I know I should be dwelling more on the fact that I'm so lucky I can go home after each session. But I can't lie. I was so uncomfortable the first time and I felt sick (again, pyschological). I'm going to pray so hard that it won't be like that again. I take my hat off to those who go to their chemo sessions as if they were just going to the grocery, with no companion. I know I've been so strong all this time, but I don't think I can ever go to chemo just by myself. I need someone there to distract me and to talk to. 

PRAYER WARRIORS, I need you :) 

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