I've Been a Lazy Bum

So I'm not totally free from side effects. The weird thing is, the things I've been feeling are not in the list of those that are to be expected post-chemo. 

The main reason I haven't blogged since Thursday is that I've been sleepy most of the time. Fatigue is a common side effect, but I definitely don't feel tired. Just sleepy. All the time! 

Next ... I've been gassy since Wednesday. Although it's really tolerable, it started annoying me on Thursday because it just wouldn't go away. My Onco prescribed Zantac 2x a day and I'm now also taking Peppermint Tea which really helps. 

Other than these, I'm really still okay. In fact, I'm not complaining at all. The doctor says a lot of her patients would pay to get these very minor discomforts instead of the usual. She says I'm part of the 10% who don't or hardly feel the effects of chemo and that God loves me. I know that :) 

The other thing I noticed is my increased appetite. I've been eating like a pig, no joke! What's gonna happen to my tummy tuck? :( 

Seriously though, weight gain is the least of my concerns at the moment. My family is just so thankful they don't have to beg me to eat. 

I've had a really good week so far since Tuesday and I praise God for blessing me with this much strength!

Wishing everyone a productive and peaceful week ahead! 

Eat and Sleep All Day - 2 days post chemo

48 hours since the first chemo cycle and I'm still feeling okay. I can't thank the Lord enough for blessing me with the kind of strength other chemo patients can only hope to have. I did have a slower day today though, mostly due to the fact that I felt sleepy most of the time. Fatigue is a common chemotherapy side effect, but I didn't feel tired. Just lazy and sleepy. Oh, plus I was slightly gassy (TMI, sorry) but not to the point of being uncomfortable and irritable. In fact, I could care less about the gas, I slept so soundly after downing a hot huge bowl of Vietnamese Pho! 

I texted my Onco to ask about the gas and she says no, this is not a side effect. HAHAHA. Oh my! I wonder where this came from then?? Did I sleep with my mouth open last night? :)))

N and Sabine went to the grocery for me this afternoon and bought me veggies and fruits. So this is what I had for merienda

I admit, I'm not a fruit person just like my Dad. I'm only crazy about mangoes. I can eat lanzones, tons of them in one sitting. But I'd rather have orange juice than the actual fruit. But I figured, since I'm in the middle of a lifestyle change, I might as well try doing all sorts of things that are new to me. So instead of using my juicer (thank you, Pao --- I love you!), I decided to munch on the fruit instead.

This rainy weather is making me sleepy! I hope everyone's safe and dry at home. I'm just waiting for Anissa to get home from school and training and I'm fine ... the long weekend can begin after that!

The Big Food No-No's During Chemo

For the next 18 weeks, as I go through 2-hour chemotherapy sessions every 21 days, I need to avoid eating the following

Basically anything that's raw. This is to prevent any bacteria from entering my body while my immune system is down from the chemotherapy. I also can't be exposed to people who are constantly coughing, sneezing and needless to say, those who are obviously sick. Not totally bummed about it but I'm glad the total ban is only for 18 weeks. 

Sabine is still coughing, although now fever-free, so I still make sure I wear a mask whenever I'm around her. I should do the same everytime I'm out (yes, I'm allowed to go out but I have to choose the places I go to) in crowded places like church or a theatre. 

Truth be told though, I have become so comfortable with staying home all day. If I don't have to, I don't step out. I would assume that being home most of the time won't be a big problem. 

I'm gonna have to stop drinking my Rawlicous green smoothies as well --- not that I'm crazy about them hahaha! :)) 

Giving Thanks Always

Psalm 107:1

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good

His love endures forever

Challenging Day - lab tests for Sabine and Chemo Cycle 1

Yesterday was another huge day. It was the first of a series of chemotherapy sessions at The Medical City. But as if that wasn't enough, we had to be in Cardinal Santos in the morning, for another CBC test for Sabine PLUS a Dengue Test as recommended by her Pediatrician. All's well that ends well, Sabine was declared negative of dengue based on test results. It's a virus and she's recovering from it well with her anti-biotics. I wanted yesterday morning to be as relaxed and quiet as possible, because the chemo was making me feel a bit more nervous than I was in the past few days. All I could think of while I was praying yesterday was, Hay naku, Lord bilib na bilib ka talaga sa lakas ko! But thank you for sparing my little girl!

It was N who stayed with me yesterday, instead of Mama who originally wanted to be there. But Sabine got sick and still stayed home from school yesterday, so Mama thought it would be better for her to stay with the precious grandchild. It turned out to be the best for everyone. Mother's know best? :) 

Here we are at the Chemo Unit's big waiting area, waiting for a cubicle to become available. We were told that some of them were closed due to ongoing construction work on the floor above them. 

My bodyguard opening the door for me hehe!

My Oncologist, Dr. Marina Chua-Tan, prepping my vein for the infusion. She has the softest, kindest voice and explains everything with so much patience. It was N's first time to meet her yesterday, she was generous with the information she shared to him.

These photos are giving me goosebumps :/

For the looooooongest time I wasn't afraid of needles. They were never a source of stress for me, unlike some people I know. But since the surgeries, I've looked at needles from a less-comfortable point of view. Although my doc used the plastic type yesterday, it hurt just as much as the traditional one when it was inserted. To be fair to her though, she said this was the only pain I was going to feel all throughout and she was right. The pic on the left shows the needle guide. HORRORS.

The nurse came by another half hour later to infuse the chemo meds. 

Strawberry Flavor? I think not. This particular med is supposed to be so bad ass, it can cause a really disturbing burning sensation on your skin if the nurse doesn't administer it properly. It also turned my pee into pink! I had to flush it out with lots of water afterwards.

There were 2 other meds infused. I need a combination of 3 of them during the first 3 cycles. The next  2 hours were pretty uneventful, except for a really short moment when the flow felt mahapdi. The nurse was still there so he was able to make the necessary adjustments. Before I knew it, I had dozed off although very lightly. It was all psychological, but I didn't feel at ease about the fact that there was something so complicated attached to me. Besides, the machine was kinda noisy.

Emote! :)))

The 2 hours went by just like that. We were out of there by around 5pm. I wouldn't call it a bad time, because I'm thankful that nothing went wrong while the treatment happened. But honestly? I felt this really nagging kind of restlessness in the first few minutes after the infusion, when my Onco had already left the room. I couldn't explain it and I still can't. I can probably attribute it (still) to first-time jitters. It was emotionally overwhelming because this really made it sooooooo real. I was okay by the time it was over but I wanted to go home stat!

When I arrived, I had a hearty dinner of Sinigang na Sugpo and Rellenong Bangus then went to bed earlier than usual at around past 10pm. I woke up shortly before 9am this morning --- wow! Thank you, Lord for uninterrupted sleep! I felt blessed upon waking up.

It's already 1pm and I'm still feeling as normal as I do on a regular day. Friends have been asking me how I'm doing and they're all surprised and happy that I'm not feeling any side effects. I pray that this goes on until my next cycle. This is something we will constantly pray for everytime I need to go back.

God continues to bless me and I'm so grateful!

ONE DOWN, FIVE TO GO!!! 

Grace Anatomy on Facebook

I totally forgot to post about this! 

I created this page the other day for the benefit of my FB contacts. Blogger auto posts all my entries, making it easy for people to be updated. 

You can follow by clicking on the link located on the right side bar of this page or go directly to it via this link right here 

Grace Anatomy on Facebook

I've so much to tell about my very first chemo cycle earlier today but I'm gonna have to do that tomorrow and sleep early for a change. 

It's been a challenging day. Good night, all ... 

Preparing for the 2nd Leg of This Journey

Chemo Cycle 1 happens today --- finally! 

But do I really mean that? It's actually half-true. While the anxiety is still there, I wouldn't want to postpone it anymore. This is the day that was marked for it and I'll do it no matter how nervous I become. 

It's really, really important that all my immediate surroundings are clean. As early as the weekend, the helpers already did their thing. Here's what the Master's Bedroom looked like as of yesterday.

When Sabine walked into the room after our visit to her Pediatrician yesterday, she happily declared this as the "best bedroom ever!!!". So cute!!! 

Notice the huge bottle of Sterilium (hospital grade disinfectant) on the night stand? Our family has been using Sterilium for a while now. (If anyone's interested to order, I can hook you up with the local distributor) We love it and it's become a habit for us all to use it. 

These will be my best friends from now on (as if they aren't yet)

Let's do this! 

(Don't be surprised if you see another blog entry this afternoon between the hours of 2-4. That would mean that the chemo infusion is not so bad and I'm able to write about it as it happens.)

Lesson Learned #1

I promised myself from the very beginning, that as I go through this journey, I'll make a conscious effort to write down and remember all of the lessons it teaches me. 

These are, after all, are why I am where I am today. I truly believe God put me here for the purpose of turning me into a better person. For that to happen, I will have to have not just one but many lessons to take with me as I go along. It is not enough to recognize the lessons and identify them one by one though. My main duty is to watch out for them AND take them to heart. An illness is a catalyst for change (Mom always tells me this). Therefore, I must use this experience to change me into the kind of person God would be so proud of. It really is the LEAST I can do for Him, given all the miracles witnessed and experienced so far! 

It's only been a little over 2 months but the realizations are so huge and they're all so ... REAL :)).  I can't begin to describe just how real they feel each time they come to me. I'm always reduced to tears every time I get one. Largely because it's all humbling and it gives me a feeling of overwhelming joy. 

This, in a nutshell, is Lesson Learned #1

To those who have told me that my strength is something they can only pray to possess, THINK AGAIN. I would've said the same thing to these people, if the tables were turned. But guess what, God provides you with everything you need when He gives you something as huge as this. 

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for Your precious gifts

Courage

Strength

Wisdom

Love from family, friends and even total strangers!!!

Wishing everyone a week filled with God's abundant blessings! 

50 Days and Counting!

It's been 50 days since I quit the habit. 

It all started in high school. One puff here, two sometimes. But it was never an everyday thing. In fact, I don't remember ever finishing one whole stick by myself back then. But then I went to college and although the environment was pretty much the same (all-girl school, nuns all around, blue and white uniform), there was a part within the school grounds that was tagged as a Smoking Area. So officially, I would say I started smoking when I was a college freshman. That was in 1986! By the time I quit, I had been smoking for more than 2 decades --- HORRORS. Of course I'm saying that just now. I really didn't think smoking was so bad back when I was addicted to it.

The only times I forgot about smoking was when I was pregnant. So that's twice, at 9 months each, plus the months I was breastfeeding (which wasn't long enough) ... I was off the habit for only about a couple of years in total. 

It didn't help that my entire barkada smoked. We were always with one another, you can imagine what it was like for anyone who would sit anywhere near us. 

I can never explain why I was hooked. Eventually, it became a stress-reliever. Each time I was problematic, it was the first thing I ran to for comfort. When it would get really bad at the office, a smoke break became mandatory for me. Even being at home at the end of the day didn't serve as a deterrent. We had a designated smoking area, the small patio beside the garage. 

My Dad never got tired of reprimanding and reminding me, even in front of my kids. At some point, he began to teach my kids to do the same. But none of these worked, not even Anissa's pleas were heard. She would often resort to hiding my cigarette packs when I wasn't looking. That's how stubborn I was. Smokers, I'm sure you can relate to my story.

When my Dad died, I thought I would feel guilty enough to stop, knowing that this was something he would've wanted me to do. I still didn't quit. In fact, because I was shocked and sad and in disbelief, the cigarettes became my source of comfort again. And during the wake, when it would get so busy, I would really find a few minutes to get away from my duties just to take a few puffs before diving into my many responsibilities again.

Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. You would think I quit immediately, right? WRONG. I was upfront with my surgeons, I couldn't quit just yet. I was under so much stress and used the illness as an excuse. I knew I had to stop though, so I asked them to give me a deadline, which they did. I continued to smoke until the day came. When it did, I was smoking 'til midnight of that day! I was a real addict!

Today, I can't believe I've been smoke-free for 50 days. I can't believe I haven't lit up at all. 

Do I miss smoking? Sometimes, I do, most especially right after a full meal or while I'm having coffee. 

Do I crave for it? I haven't felt an intense craving so I'm good.

Am I quitting for good? I want to. That's the purpose. I didn't quit just because the doctors said I had to be nicotine-free for the surgeries. I quit for that PLUS the desire to completely turn my back on it. This is my chance and I need to grab it and make sure I'm fully-committed.

50 days is a huge achievement for me, but it's way too early to say I'm never going back to smoking. I pray about it everyday, especially whenever I'm out and I see people doing it. I can always back slide but I've gotten this far. I'm determined to give it my best, if only for my kids. 

I'm sooooooo sure my Dad is smiling at me and saying, "Finally, someone was able to knock some sense into you!"

This is probably the biggest change I'm going to make because of the cancer. The diet is only secondary, although I'm certain that will pose some kind of challenge as well. 

I'm proud of myself for having let go of something that I should've kicked years ago. More importantly, I made my loved ones happy by quitting. 

I'm praying for N to also realize he needs to quit --- soon!

When It Rains ...

We all know what comes after that. My first chemo cycle takes place tomorrow afternoon. I really should be relaxing right now, maybe even getting a massage to calm my nerves. But instead of focusing on being calm, I'm exactly the opposite. Sabine still has a fever, in fact, it shot up to 39 deg celsius just an hour ago. The Pediatrician said earlier, this is what concerns her. It's the high temperature that prevents her from ruling out Dengue just yet. It could still be a bug, but we can't entirely say, it's not Dengue. Sabine had a CBC earlier today and the result was okay but borderline. So the Pedia wants to do a repeat in the morning, plus the Dengue Test, while we monitor her fever for now.  All this is happening while I'm trying to psyche myself up for when I enter unknown territory tomorrow. As a Mom, I've always been the panicky type.  It's genetic, I think. No one can tell me not to panic when it's my kids we're talking about. It will be really difficult for me to get some sleep tonight and that's me being very, very honest about it, even if I know a lot of people will disagree and tell me I need to get enough sleep. 

It's a good thing I already sat down to make a list of things I need to bring to the Chemo Unit of The Medical City tomorrow : 

My meds (Onco asked me to buy 3 kinds), including the anti-nausea patch Dra. Marina recommended. This patch would've cost me P3,900+ in Mercury Drug. But purchased directly from a MedRep, I saved about P400.00. This is supposed to last 7 days. I hope it works!

A shawl or small blanket - I'm usually sleepy at the same time the chemo will take place. I hope I'm comfortable enough even with the IV attached to me, so I can nap a little and not dwell.

Snacks - yup, my companion and I are allowed to eat in the private cubicle, which also has a TV

Water - I'll need to drink lots so I can also pee lots and, therefore, flush out whatever it is that needs to be flushed out

I guess in that sense, I'm all set. Emotionally? I don't want to say. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not nervous because I still am. Maybe I'll even be more nervous once I'm there. I'm not beating myself up about it because everyone, including my Oncologist says, it's all part of the experience. 

Seriously though, I'm really stressing out more over Sabine's fever. I've been praying for it to go away. I can't deal with anyone else being sick at the moment. The spotlight belongs to me! 

Tomorrow's surely looking like one heck of a busy day. We start out early (I was really planning on waking up late, but that's out of the question now) with a trip back to Cardinal Santos Memorial Center for Sabine's CBC and Dengue Test. Then I can go back home and stay there for a while, gather my stuff (and maybe my guts) until it's time to head to the Chemo Unit. 

I tried Googling for photos of the Chemo Unit at The Medical City. Unfortunately, I found none. I'm told it's going to be really private and comfortable. The private part is something I would demand. One of my concerns was being exposed to other cancer patients, especially those who are not doing as well as I am. I don't want to be in the same room, my heart won't be able to take it. My doctors assured me that this would not be the case at all. Relief!

Philippians 4:6-7 
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

What happened during breast reconstruction

Most people know what a mastectomy is, but I've had people ask me what breast reconstruction is and how it's done. There are those who are shocked when I tell them I had a "free" tummy tuck when I decided to have my breast reconstructed. For the benefit of those who are intrigued by this procedure, let me try to illustrate what it is, based on how my very able Plastic Surgeon, Dra. Catherine (Yen) Asedillo, explained it to me.

First things first : you can choose to have breast reconstruction at the same time as the mastectomy. Meaning, your Breast Surgeon and Plastic Surgeon will act like a wrestling tag team in the operating room. Once the Breast Surgeon is done with the mastectomy, the Plastic Surgeon comes in to do her thing. Get it so far? 

WHAT IS BREAST RECONSTRUCTION? 

This is a kind of surgery that women who have had a mastectomy choose to have, to rebuild the breast that underwent the mastectomy. The procedure doesn't include restoration of the areola and nipple, which can be done at a later time. A mastectomy patient can choose not to undergo breast reconstruction.

The specific procedure that I had is called a TRAM Flap Reconstruction. TRAM stands for transverse rectus abdominus myocutaneous. Sounds so foreign. Anyway ... during the procedure, skin, fat, muscle from the abdomen will be moved up to the chest. They are all used to create the breast mound, where your breast was prior to the mastectomy. I'm so thankful I had enough tissue in my abdomen (a.k.a. TABA!) from giving birth to two children, because that was enough to create my new left breast. It wasn't so hard, considering I'm not well-endowed hehe! 

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF A TRAM FLAP?

First of all, it's a one-shot deal. You get everything done one time, big time. No more going back for a 2nd confinement, 2nd dose of general anaesthesia, etcetera. Next: the free tummy tuck that goes with it.

But not all women can benefit from a tummy tuck. If you're young and haven't had kids, chances are, your tummy is still flat as a pancake. In which case, the rest of you probably isn't fat either. In these cases, an implant is the only way to go. The next advantage would be, the mound will look just like your original breast. It will feel the same and move the same. Given these, breast reconstruction will likely restore your confidence in yourself after a mastectomy. 

ARE THERE ANY DISADVANTAGES?

Yes, if you want to call them that. To me, they're very minor. As long as they don't limit my activities and make me feel like a totally different person, I'm fine. The first disadvantage would be the scarring. Unlike my C-section scar which is really small, the scarring from the tummy tuck stretches from one hip to another. That's like the entire tummy, from side to side. Really long. I thought I could go back to wearing a bikini because of the tuck. Turns out, I won't be able to because of the length and the positioning of the scar.  I'd be happy with my tankinis and my maillots but atleast I'll have a lot less jiggling going on down there hahaha. Another disadvantage would be that your new breast will not have much sensation, because the nerves that were originally there have been removed. This is a really weird feeling that one needs to get used to. But it's no biggie, it doesn't bring tears to my eyes and make me regret that I had the reconstruction done. The recovery time from a Tram Flap is also supposedly longer than if you were to get implants. But if you ask me, I'd rather have the Tram Flap. An implant is a foreign object, there's also a risk involved there. 

By the way, the surgery also takes about 5-6 hours, which is why my total downtime (with the mastectomy) was around 8-10? I don't remember, but I think it was around that long.

Lastly, here's the simplest illustration I could find to show how it's really done

So there you have it. This is half of what I had to go through on the operating table, and the reason I don't feel incomplete. Thanks to my wonderful Plastic Surgeon, Dra. Yen! 

Kid Is Sick - what to do?

A few days before chemo starts, Sabine developed a fever due to her cough and cold. Talk about timing, right? I panicked (I always do), texted my Onco right away and waited for her reply while twiddling my fingers. This is me being proactive and reporting everything to my doctor, so she'll know what's going on and how to address any concerns. 

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO LIKE YOUR DOCTOR, LADIES. You're going to be good friends, maybe even best friends. Everything that happens to you, every little thing you feel, your doctor needs to know. She/he can't do his job if you won't keep him/her in the loop.

Today, Sabine woke up still with a fever. I took her temperature a few minutes after she opened her eyes. 38.2, not so bad, but still not entirely good. Her cough is much loose now, her nose is not clogged. I'm thankful for that because it means the phlegm can easily be expelled. 

But I'm worrying about myself as well. So again, I texted Dra. Marina to tell her that I feel I'm coming down with something as well. Honestly, I don't know if it's psychosomatic but I went ahead and asked her anyway. She says to see a Pulmonologist tomorrow if I do get a cold and then she'll have to postpone chemo. Oh noes!!! I've been looking forward to starting my treatments. Not that I'm jumping up and down in excitement, I'm just really all for biting the bullet and getting it all over with. And now I'm faced with a possible delay. Sigh.

Please please please, dear God! Heal my little girl and make all the germs in the house go away! I can't be thinking about my daughter's health at the exact same time I need to watch out for mine. I'm a Mother and my heart will always tell me not to worry about myself. But this time, I will have to be just a tiny bit selfish. I need to avoid getting sick so I can be well for the kids and N. 

Claiming wellness from hereon!

I changed my background because I wanted a cleaner, less complicated look. I never even liked pink before. Changes all around :))

The "M" Word and Another Small Miracle

On my last visit to my Oncologist, she wrote a letter to my OB-Gynecologist, requesting the latter to please interpret my amenorrhea. Amenorrhea is defined as the absence of menstruation in a woman of reproductive age. That's me. The last time I had my period was the day after my Dad passed away. It hasn't returned. I took a pregnancy test sometime in June and turned out negative. I took another one after that and the result was the same. So if anyone's wondering, there's your answer :) Anyway, I still don't have my period to this day. Before the required lab tests for chemotherapy were administered, my doctors were thinking it could still be due to the emotional trauma of losing my Dad all too suddenly. But last Tuesday, there were some things in the results that prompted by Onco to write that letter to my OB-Gyne. 

Fast forward to this afternoon, I found myself outside my OB's clinic waiting for my turn, holding my Onco's letter and my blood test results. On a side note, I thought I would have to spend another afternoon on my butt. Fortunately, it didn't take that long and before I knew it, my name was called. It was the first time I saw Dr. Angela Aguilar ever since that fateful day - August 13 when I found my breast lump and rushed to her clinic to have her examine it. I haven't spoken to her either since then. But she was updated about what was happening to me because my surgeons are also her patients. So is my Mom, who is in constant communication with her. After our usual chit chat which usually lasts the first 20-30 minutes (LOL poor patients waiting in line after me!), she carefully looked over the test results and my Onco's letter. She explained to me what we were looking at and why the Onco needed her opinion. (It's already past 9pm right now, half my brain decided to go to sleep earlier than the rest of me so I'm trying my best to remember every detail of my consultation)

Here's the bottom line : I am well on my way to being menopausal. WHAAAAAT??? I had been feeling some strange things lately and would joke from time to time about menopause. But I didn't think I would actually hear it straight from the horse's mouth today!  I know I'm 43 but people have told me how OA I am every time I'd say, "Oh my God, it's so hot! Is anyone else feeling hot? Is this a hot flash I'm getting? I'm menopausal na! Waaaahhh!"  Well, guess what! Aaaaaaack! At 43, I'm on the brink of that stage every woman dreads. 

BUT ... wait 'til you hear this!

Menopause is actually good for me at this point. Why? Because a woman's ovaries are the main source of the hormone Estrogen. Estrogen promotes the growth of 2 out of 3 breast cancers. When a woman goes through menopause, the ovaries stop producing this hormone. The production of Estrogen is exactly why as part of preventive maintenance, I will have to take this drug called Tamoxifen for 5 years after chemotherapy. Tamoxifen is an anti-Estrogen drug. IS THIS GOOD NEWS OR WHAT?! She further shared that one of her patients, also with breast cancer, recently had to undergo surgery again. It was to remove her ovaries, because she was found to still be ovulating and nowhere near menopause even at the age of 48. The fact that I'm about to walk into the menopause phase actually means my ovaries can stay because they're soon retiring anyway. 

My OB, after explaining all of these to me, smiled and said (something like this), "This is providential, I can't see any other explanation. You actually have to thank your father and the trauma that his death brought upon you because it literally pushed things to happen now instead of later." I couldn't help but think about all the recent challenges we've been given and how this seems to be the reward at the end of this tough week. For this, I am so so so grateful! God continues to amaze me!

And that is how my Saturday went, everyone. 

God bless us all! 

My Chemotherapy Treatment Plan

Different cancer patients get different treatments based on their actual condition. So far in all the talks I've had with my doctors, especially my Oncologist, I've learned that treatments are somewhat customized. The doctor will have to take a look at all your records, even your medical history, in coming up with the kind of treatment that's suitable for you.

The first time I ever sat down with my Oncologist, she already mapped out my Treatment Plan for me.

In my case, I need 6 cycles of chemotherapy and NO RADIATION. I stressed on the latter because it's a blessing that I don't need it! The 6 cycles will last for 18 weeks because the cycles need to be 3 weeks apart. I start on October 23rd so after looking at my calendar, I've already marked the week when my last treatment will take place and that will be on the last week of February 2013. I consider this to be another blessing. Why? Anissa celebrates her 17th birthday end of March, Mom will turn 63 on the first week of April, Sabine will be 7 years old on April 18th. I'll be well enough and back to my normal self by the time all these milestones are going to happen. I'm already excited just thinking about it! 

But wait ... going back. I asked my Oncologist to explain to me what exactly will happen in each cycle. Will each session be different? What medicines are going to be used? What are the common side effects? How long will each session take? How many family members are allowed to keep me company? Etcetera ... etcetera ... etcetera

First things first ... WHAT MEDICINES WILL BE USED? Again, just to clarify : this is for me. It may be different for the next person, even if that person also has breast cancer. 

The first 3 cycles : FEC - a combination of 3 medicines. F stands for Fluorouracil, E stands for Epirubicin and C stands for Cyclophosphamide.

The last 3 cycles : Taxotere 

# 2 WHAT ARE THE COMMON SIDE EFFECTS?

Hair Loss - yes, my Onco says it WILL happen to me. Some people have told me it's also possible that I won't lose my hair. But I'm prepared, my Onco was honest with me from the beginning. If for some reason she's wrong, I'll treat that as a wonderful bonus. 

Nausea - she prescribed an anti-nausea patch called Sancuso. It's quite expensive at around Php 3,000+ a piece but she highly-recommends it. To be totally honest, this is the part I'm dreading. It's the main reason I quit drinking many many years ago. My tolerance for alcohol is really low and I used to throw up a lot after coming home from parties and gatherings. I absolutely hated the feeling each time. I'm really hoping this expensive patch does its magic!

Fatigue - they say it's going to feel like you have the flu minus the fever, so it'll keep you in bed

Mouth sores - one of my Onco's ex-patients (5 1/2 yrs since diagnosed) told me she had these. Yikes.

Taste changes - many have told me to keep on eating even if walang gana or even if the food doesn't taste good. You can always ask your Oncologist how to cope with this. I know I will.

Bladder irritation and diarrhea - need I say more?

Some other side effects but are less common would be : skin changes (rash, itchiness), sun sensitivity, nail changes (dark or white lines on the nail beds). 

#3 HOW LONG WILL EACH SESSION TAKE? 

Mine will take 2 hours each time. I asked my surgeon if I would be exposed to other chemo patients. I'm afraid that seeing those who are really weak and sick-looking might affect my disposition and I don't want this to happen. I'm also a real softie when it comes to these things. She assured me that I'll have my privacy. Each patient does. There's an enclosed cubicle for each patient, with a La-z boy and an extra chair for a companion plus a TV. I can do whatever I want. Read a book, eat, sleep, listen to music. It's all going to be comfortable according to her. 

#4 HOW MANY FAMILY MEMBERS ARE ALLOWED TO ACCOMPANY ME?

One inside the cubicle. If there's more than one with you, the others will have to stay outside. I think there's a waiting area within the Chemo Unit of The Medical City. I don't plan on bringing an entire baranggay of family members with me. Please don't do this either. You might jeopardize the health of other patients getting their chemo treatments by exposing them to so many germs.

#5 WHEN IS MY HAIR GOING TO START FALLING OFF?

Usually 2 weeks after chemo starts. That means I'll be baldy by the time I turn 44 on November 17th. Wow, it's gonna be one memorable birthday!

These are the things I've asked about so far. Oh ... of course, I also asked about the costs earlier on. I know how much each session will cost me. The first 3 will cost the same, the last 3 will be a lot higher GULP. I'm not too comfortable about stating the figures here. If anyone wishes to know, feel free to email me at graceandanatomy@gmail.com and I'll get back to you.

Also, please remember that each time the doctor tells you that you need to go through something, take a specific kind of medicine or whatever it is ... it is your right to ask questions if you don't understand. I don't really care if any of my doctors think I'm makulit. Hello?? I'm not a doctor, I need to be educated. Plus of course, it's my body and I have to know every little thing that goes in it and what it's for. If your doctor doesn't have the patience to answer all of your questions --- whether he/she thinks they're valid or not --- please do yourself a favor and look for another one. You really don't need the added stress. Your doctor needs to be your friend and ally, not someone you feel uncomfortable talking to. 

There you have it, my treatment plan. My wellness plan, if you wanna call it that. I think I'm starting to lose some of that anxiety I've been feeling. I just really want to get things started and over with. I hope you all stick around to see me fly through this! 

P.S.

Such wrong timing but Sabine developed a fever earlier tonight. She also has a cough and a cold and says her throat is slightly "ouchy". Not now?!?!  So I texted my Onco and asked her what I should do. She said the following : 

Gargle with Bactidol 2x a day (you and your daughter)

Have your daughter's pediatrician determine if she needs to be on antibiotics

Stay in a separate room whenever you can

If she has to be with you, make her wear a mask (change every 4 hrs)

Disinfect all door knobs and common areas religiously

I asked her if she thinks I should leave the house and camp out at my Mom's. Her reply was "huwag naman!". Whew. 

Guess What My Blog Brought In?

God brings people into your life for 2 reasons : to BLESS you or to cause you PAIN (and therefore, teach you a valuable lesson). In my 43 years of existence, I've had my share of both types. Although the "painful" people have somehow managed to leave an indelible mark, one that I know I'll have on me for the rest of my life, they've also taught me things that will stay with me forever. The "blessings" are more fondly remembered, for obvious reasons. Today, I'm proud to share that I've got one more person to add to the "blessing" basket. 

We met each other via my other blog, Nonstopbabble. She communicated with me because she's also a breast cancer patient. It's uncanny that our surgeries were just 2 weeks apart! We're practically on the same boat, with me being on one end, the more advanced one in terms of timeline. I felt the need to really connect with her because I could certainly share my learnings. Besides that, it's always good to be in constant communication with someone who knows exactly what you're going through and can honestly mean it when she tells you, "Omg, that's just how I feel!". Not to undermine their efforts but N, my brother, my Mom --- they all support me and they will until this thing is over, but none of them can really say they know what it's like. 

After exchanging email messages for a few days, we decided to meet and arranged to do so last Wednesday afternoon. I'm glad I wasn't under any pressure (I now know that I can't plan more than one trip/event per day because my body is still officially in recovery and tires easily) because our chat turned out to be a really interesting one, which lasted 'til about 6pm! There was simply too much to talk about. When she initially told me via email that the reason she felt compelled to reach out to me was that she found so much of my experience parallel to hers, she really wasn't joking. 

I would rather not be too elaborate about all the other things we have in common. In fact, I won't even name her out of respect for her privacy. Suffice it to say that the breast cancer (stage 2, as well) is our main thing in common, so let's focus on that for now. If we didn't have to adjourn the meeting so we could go back to Mommy mode, we probably would've stayed on to have dinner. It was a really refreshing thing for me, having no one this close to share my thoughts and feelings with. I never thought I needed to, until last Wednesday. I seriously thought releasing it all and blogging about it was more than enough. But it helps loads to have someone tell you to your face that she can absolutely relate. 

At the end of that 4-hour coffee date, we thanked each other and promised to be in touch from now on. I told her I would be praying for her and she assured me that she had been praying for me from the time she received my first email message. We both believe that this was no coincidence, God brought us to each other ... for comfort, reassurance, confidence and added courage. She too seemed to be so brave about all of this! 

She'll be going into chemo in November, whereas I begin with my 1st cycle on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to telling her how it all goes for me so I can somehow calm her nerves (yup, we're both apprehensive about it). 

You never really know what God has up His sleeve. This was totally unexpected and I have to admit ...  God has replenished my spirit (again) by introducing this new friend to me. His blessings are all around, we just have to be ready to receive them with the right attitude! 

It's Friday, everyone! Those of you who toil in the office day after day, this is when you get to kick off your shoes and forget about work for the next 48 hours! I wish everyone a happy and peace-filled weekend!

Thankful for My Wednesday Group

We call it the Wednesday Club but since we formed ourselves, we've only met up on a Wednesday once or twice hahaha! But the name stuck and we'll stick to it forever, regardless of whether we can live up to it or not. The important thing is we stay in touch and we get together when we can.

This dinner was scheduled because (1) it's been a while since the last one (in Malcolm's Deli, Fairways Tower also at The Fort, and it was way before my diagnosis) and (2) most of these girls didn't get to visit me at the hospital after my surgery. My first chemo session is also a few days away and I might not be able to go out as much as I want to. 

I've only tried Slice and Sariwon in the Boni High Street Central area, so it was my first time at Geisha. I don't frequent a lot of Japanese restaurants. My family usually goes to the old reliables so I was interested and wanted to see whether Geisha is a place I can go back to. It is! But this entry is not about food or this restaurant. I'll probably write my usual non-pro review in my other blog. 

Originally, I had something else planned for this evening. My schedule surprisingly opened up days before and I'm so glad it did. I had quite a stressful day today (I was missing my Dad so much) and being around this happy bunch really was the best way to cap it. God made sure to cheer me up. :) 

Unfortunately, it had to be an early night for most of us. It was productive nonetheless (note: our definition of productive is not the usual). I'm hoping it won't be too long before the next one. 

In a world that's full of surprises --- both good and not-so-good --- my friends are the one of the biggest constants. I've said it before and I'll say it again ... I have the most amazing friends. 

Make That Change : Saying goodbye to certain types of food

There's been so much talk about what a cancer patient can and can't eat. People have offered their opinions and thoughts to me on this. While I appreciate all the suggestions and have manually written down a lot of them for future reference, I will have to prioritize the opinions and suggestions of my doctors with regard to nutrition.

As far as they're concerned (especially my Oncologist), the only things I should permanently stay away from starting now are :

Fastfood

Preservatives 

Processed Food

So from now on (unless it's absolutely unavoidable), no more 

McDonald's

Jollibee

Greenwich

Taco Bell

Chow King

and the like. Not a huge burger fan so that's not a biggie.

Come to think of it, you don't really have to have cancer to avoid eating fast food. We all know it's unhealthy right? I just have a serious reason for avoiding it completely from now on. I wish I could influence my entire family to do the same, especially my children. But that doesn't sound very realistic. At the very least, I hope they get to see the value of what I'm doing and realize the importance of eating healthy. Maybe Anissa, at 16 years old, is in a better position to see it from my point of view. But Sabine? 6 years old? Good luck to me haha! 

More than fast food though ... it's the letting go of processed food that bummed me out. I'm not even a breakfast person, but when I think about not eating Beef Tapa, Longganisa, Hotdog, Tocino from now on, I kinda feel sad about it. I'm so weird. :)

What does my Oncologist think about all other types of food? 

As long as I take everything in moderation, no biggie. 

As long as I'm conscious about what I eat, no biggie. 

What does "conscious" mean? It means taking the fat off a steak, taking the skin off a piece of chicken, not re-using my cooking oil at home. Things like this. And again, this doesn't just apply to me as a cancer patient. Do it if you can, even if you're not sick!

I asked her if it's true that I should completely stay away from sugar and she replied, 

"How can anybody do that???" Her take on this is quite simple. You certainly don't have dessert for breakfast, lunch or dinner right? As long as you take it IN MODERATION, you're fine. Sometimes, doing away with sugar and using sweeteners is even more dangerous. She told me that I'm better off adding brown sugar than a sweetener to my coffee.

I thank my doctors for all the learnings. There will be more to share as I travel along!

It's Real and It's Here! (More thoughts on chemo)

At my Oncologist's clinic yesterday, I told Dra. Marina that I was feeling a bit under the weather, like I was coming down with something (the ridiculously cold air-conditioning at The Medical City made it worse!). She didn't bat an eyelash and said, "You're stressed out about starting chemo. It's normal but try your best to relax about it." I guess she's heard and seen it happen a thousand times. 

I've asked myself what I'm really afraid of and why. Before the surgeries, I don't remember feeling agitated, until I got to the operating room and waited for the anaesthesia to kick in. But with the chemotherapy, I've had these afraid moments on and off. They don't last very long, but they come back from time to time. Others have said they're more afraid about the nausea, some about losing their hair. I can't pinpoint one reason. So I'm thinking, I'm apprehensive about chemotherapy in general.

I have no doubt that I need to undergo these 6 cycles for the next 18 weeks until the end of February. I never, for one moment, thought of exploring other treatment options. I've heard of other people totally ditching the idea of getting chemotherapy or radiation treatments because they were too afraid of what these will do to their bodies. But unlike them, my question to myself initially was ... shouldn't I be afraid of what might happen if I DON'T do what the doctors are telling me to do? I've followed all their orders so far and because I did, I'm here, I'm better and I'm on my way to recovery. 

This is how I look at it. When it comes to how a cancer patient wants to be treated, it's to each his own. But really ... I would rather listen to the doctors on this one. I have no previous experience and I can't generalize based on the stories I've heard from other people. It all boils down to what the patient wants.

After careful analysis, I've come to realize that the start of my chemo sessions have made the cancer more REAL to me. That's probably another reason I'm nervous about the first session. Dra. Marina says it's just like any "first time". You're nervous about it but the succeeding times will be better because you already know more or less what to expect.

I'm truly blessed that my chemo sessions are all out-patient, I won't have to be in the hospital for more than 2 hours. At the end of each session, I can go home and my loved ones can take care of me. 

All that said, there's no turning back for me. It's all going to happen in 6 days. I've been praying hard and I know that I'm blessed to have prayer warriors who are doing the same.

Post Mastectomy (Pain) Syndrome

I didn't mind feeling bruised and sore following my surgeries. To me, it was normal and something I needed to deal with. Besides, I had pain meds prescribed by my surgeon, which I took religiously according to her instructions. Everyday when I wake up, I note a difference in the way I feel, the way I move, the way it all happens for me from the time I get out of bed. And I've noted small but steady improvements everyday. By nature, I'm a really impatient person, so this has been quite a struggle for me as you can now begin to imagine. 

Last Sunday, I observed something different though. My arm felt extra heavy, there's been partial numbness since then. By numbness, I mean that familiar "ngawit" feeling you get when you're tired or got stuck in the same position for a prolonged period.  I had to google the English word for "ngawit" because it's one of those complicated Filipino terms that don't really have a specific English counterpart. Somehow, numbness doesn't really hit the mark. But yes, my arm feels tired and overused. Come to think of it, I insisted on driving (still last Sunday). From the house to church (15 mins away), then to DEC on Wilson, then to Shaw 500 on Shaw Blvd then home. In the evening, I drove us all to dinner because N just followed us to Hap Chan in Silver City. All city-driving and using power steering, of course. Could I have caused this sudden unfamiliar and terrible feeling on my left arm, including the armpit area? I hope it was just that and not anything internal *knocks on wood*. 

I googled a bit about it but not too much, because I wanted to avoid reading the not-so-positive things I might find about it online. I did get to see a few negative inputs so I immediately left the sites. (A reminder to everyone not to rely on Doctor Google too much. It's always best to consult your doctor. Google may cause unnecessary panic and therefore, stress.)

The pain and discomfort went up a few notches yesterday. I have a high tolerance for pain but I guess there will always be exceptions to the rule. I stayed in bed and hardly moved, except when I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to pop a pill right away, hoping that the pain would go away or, at the very least, decide to take a break and let me fall asleep. It didn't. 

I texted my surgeon and hoped that she would reply positively. I hoped it was nothing out of the ordinary and I didn't need to undergo anything (the last time, she did a needle aspiration on my armpit and it hurt like SH*T!). She eventually texted me back and told me this is all normal. The key is ... guess what, more patience. 

I woke up this morning minus the "ngawit" feeling but still somewhat in pain. The pain isn't an issue when my arm is still. It's when I move it that my face starts to cringe and I'm tempted to scream the frustration away. Okay, sorry ... slightly OA remark. But this really is a source of stress, I need to manage it well.

Before I end this entry, I need to confess something. A warning though, please do not do this. It was a stupid, hasty decision. Purely selfish and is something I wouldn't do again. My pain was more intense than usual yesterday. I finally gave up and decided to pop a pill (mine is Algesia, over-the-counter but recommended by my surgeon) after I had lunch. Whoops, not A pill but TWO. They were 325 mg each. In no time, my world was spinning and I wanted to throw up. BAD BAD BAD. The pain went away but I felt like I was on an unlimited carousel ride. :( 

That's it for the morning. I need to get ready to see three doctors today : my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon (for follow-up consults) and my oncologist so I can show her my lab test results and go into further discussion about the first chemo cycle next week! 

Mommy Has Cancer

The hardest thing to do when you find out that you're sick is tell your family. In my case, this came at the most difficult time. Even then, I never questioned and I don't recall feeling angry. I wanted to just focus on doing what I had to do to address the problem. Telling my Mom and my brother was hard, but the biggest challenge of all was how to tell my children. 

Anissa is 16 years old. I knew right from the start that she had to know everything, no secrets. She's old enough to understand and goes on the internet everyday, I can't possibly lie to her about anything. I just prayed to God for strength while talking to her. It was important to me to show courage, so that she can be comforted and not worry too much. God heard me and I was able to tell Anissa everything without much drama. A co-parent in school told me recently that her daughter is amazed at Anissa's positive attitude. I'm so happy and thankful that she's dealing with this well! 

Sabine, who is 6 years old, knows about my illness to a certain extent. At first, I avoided using the C word and replaced it with "germs". Lately though, I had to introduce her to the term "breast cancer" because she always hears us discussing it. I told her that my germs actually have a name and they're called Breast Cancer. I'm relieved she didn't ask more questions after that. 

Cathy (Babao), during my interview with her last Friday, suggested that I look for children's books that Sabine can read. Books that can help her understand and deal with Mommy being sick with breast cancer. I felt like a total idiot! Why didn't I think of doing this before? I thanked Cathy for the suggestion and immediately went online to look. 

These are the books I'm thinking of buying for Sabine

Each has a 5-star rating in Amazon.com. I'm excited to get them! 

My Oncologist also offered to help prepare the girls for the changes they might see when I start undergoing chemo. I'll definitely take her up on her offer and hopefully schedule a sit-down with her and the kids very, very soon. 

Our children are always our priority, even when we should be focusing on ourselves. We can't help it, it's second nature to us as parents. But when I'm sure I've done what I can to help my children understand and cope, I'll be okay and will be able to concentrate fully on getting better. 

Coming Soon : my head gear!

Call me excited, but I have reason to be. My Super Friends (referring to my closest group of friends --- close to 3 decades together) have decided to buy me wigs and bandanas. More than one wig haha! I don't even know if I'm going to prefer wearing one over a piece of cloth, but seeing that they're really in this ride with me, I'll do it for them. 

Here's what's coming, all ordered from this website : TLCdirect.org

The one I chose from all those in the website is this

Mine will not come in this color, of course! :D I chose Sunkissed Brown, if I remember correctly.

The head scarves are cute. I wanted a plain one too but didn't find one in a color I like. I've been told to go to Rustan's to look for more head scarves. But I'm just too lazy to go around and look. I'd rather stay at home and continue to recover in time for chemo. (As I type, my left arm/armpit area has become even  more challenging to deal with.)

It's too bad we don't have too many people selling items targeted towards cancer patients. The market has grown and continues to grow steadily (sadly, but this is reality). Unlike in the US where most clinics even have huge bins filled with freebies like pins, caps, scarves and what nots.

If anyone of you has any suggestions on where to find these types of merchandise, please feel free to share your thoughts and information here. 

I forgot to say that I have a total of THREE wigs coming my way. Yes, THREE.

My friends are really going all out for me! XOXO!!!

Break's Almost Over

I checked out of the hospital after my surgeries (skin sparing mastectomy and reconstructive tram flap surgery PLUS a tummy tuck) on September 17th. CRAP. It's been a month and I hardly felt it! After my confinement, I religiously went on my follow-up check ups and got the chance to finally choose and meet my Oncologist, Dr. Marina Chua-Tan. The day I met her, I spent about 45 minutes in her clinic, asking her all sorts of questions about nutrition, chemotherapy, whatever I could think of. She wrote up some lab test requests and asked me to return to her office on October 16th with all of the test results. I left her clinic happily that afternoon, because I was really looking forward to taking it easy.

Taking it easy meant no poking, no prodding, no tests, no injections, no extractions ... AAAAAHHHHHHH I could smell temporary freedom and I was only too happy to take advantage!

I haven't done much since then. Left the house only a few times and only when I had to. Most of these past few weeks were spent at home. I really wanted to recover from all the surgical procedures I had. (I don't know if I've mentioned this in any of my previous entries but I have a total of FIVE wounds : mastectomy, reconstructive surgery, sentinel nodes dissection, tummy tuck, hernia --- yes, my doctors discovered I had hernia during the surgery and they repaired it right there!)

I still feel sore sometimes, my doctors say it's normal. But there's been remarkable improvement from the time I got home after the surgeries. In fact, last Saturday I attended Sabine's Grade One Family Day in school and joined the mother-daughter game. Yay! (Exhausted when I got home though)

Going back to my original point ... my short vacation is almost over. I'm going back to my doctors tomorrow. I'll be showing my Oncologist all of my lab test results (which are all good so far --- THANK GOD) and we'll be seriously discussing chemo which starts on the 23rd. Yes, I still feel apprehensive about it. I've been praying really hard. To be specific, I've been asking the Lord for physical and not just emotional strength this time. He has granted me one miracle after another, I am so psyched and sure that He won't fail me now. 

So yeah, I'm gonna have to say goodbye to lazy, steady days real soon and say hello to the 2nd leg of this journey. I'm not too excited but I also can't wait to start crossing out dates on my calendar. 

On Praying ... for yourself, for others

In my quiet moments, usually while the kids are in school and N is busy working, one of my most recurring thoughts is : I am where I am today because so many people prayed and are still praying for me. Family, close friends, family friends, friends of friends, former colleagues, relatives, online friends ... almost everyone has expressed their generosity in terms of setting aside prayer time for my healing.

While I believe in the power of prayers 101%, I had never prayed so hard before in my life. At least I don't recall having been so immersed in it the way I have been since I was diagnosed. I make it sound so bad, right? How can someone who went to all-girls Catholic schools all her life say that she's never been deep in prayer ever before? Maybe I'm exaggerating because I want to emphasize how often and how more intent I pray nowadays. 

Do I have a routine? Yes, I realize that a routine really helps one focus. It helps you not to forget to pray. If you have a schedule, you follow it, you get used to it, until it becomes 2nd nature to you. I pray as soon as I wake up, before each meal, before I go to sleep and anytime in between whenever I feel like it or whenever I have something important to say to God. 

This is how I pray : 

A - Adoration 

C - Confession

T - Thanksgiving

S - Supplication

There are different versions of this but this acronym is easy to remember. Any prayerful person will tell you that this is how anyone should pray. Always, always, always! You must humble yourself, apologize and say thanks before you ask. Not so hard to do, isn't it? 

But always, at the end of the day, that's when I take out my prayer list and lift up my prayers for other people. I'm not kidding, I really have a list. I wish I could share a photo of it here because it's stored in my phone. Unfortunately, I can't share that because the people on that list might not want their names to be published in a public blog such as mine. I even wrote down why I'm praying for them (i.e., illness, death, special intentions, etc.). I think it's the least I can do, seeing that many have done the same for me. How difficult is it to set aside a few minutes each day to talk to God and ask Him to bless others?

I don't know if I should be happy about it but ever since my diagnosis, my prayer list has gained a few extra names, mostly of people who are recently-diagnosed with some other type of cancer. I added one more name just today, earlier this afternoon to be exact. A friend (I have to be very very vague about this) told me that her tests didn't turn out so well. In fact, the results are quite shocking, I didn't quite know what to say to her at first. 

Mom says it's okay to be sad that the list is growing, especially if it contains names of people I personally know. But I should also feel fortunate that I can intercede for them and help them this way. 

Here's a quote I've kept all this time. It was tweeted sometime ago and I really had to save it:

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them

And sometimes, when you are safe and happy, 

remember that someone has prayed for you.

I hope you all had a weekend as peaceful and love-filled as mine. 

Things You Don't Say to a Cancer Patient

The interview with new-found friend, Cathy Babao came out today. It was the first thing I looked for when I got my hands on the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

Below the online version which you can find here

http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/71270/things-you-dont-say-to-a-cancer-patient

It really didn't feel like an interview at all. I'm so glad I didn't ask her to just email me the questions so I could email her back my answers. I enjoyed every minute of it! 

Thanks for deciding that my story deserves some attention and the space in your widely-read column, Cathy, and for supporting Breast Cancer Awareness month. 

We will definitely see each other again! 

Blessings Abound

I mentioned previously that I had to undergo some tests again last Friday afternoon. These are in preparation for the 6 cycles of chemo I'll be undergoing, beginning on the 23rd of this month (horrors ... jitters ... panic ... I'm really dreading it right now). The most major test required by my Oncologist is a Bone Scan. The purpose of the test is to determine whether there's any metastasis in the bones. In layman's terms, you want to make sure that the cancer didn't spread to the bones. Sounds scary, right? 

Thank God my Oncologist told me, it was more for baseline reference as far as we're concerned. She's absolutely sure there's no metastasis because of how good all of my test results have been after the surgeries. 

A day after the Bone Scan was done, I'm overwhelmed with joy and thanksgiving again because the result was negative!!! To be exact, this is what it said on the hospital's stationery :

CONCLUSION
No scintigraphic evidence of osseous metastasis

I don't understand medical terms but the above phrase tells me what my family and I have been wanting to know. NO METASTASIS. God continues to be faithful and I can assure Him I'll be the same.

It's Sunday, church day. Looking forward!