The Day We Told Sabine

Actual entry date 7 Sept 2012

Believe it or not, how to tell our 6-year old about my breast cancer diagnosis was a much bigger problem for me than the illness itself. I had to ask everyone to be quiet around her and avoid asking me questions when she's in the room. I had to think long and hard about the kind of approach I should use. The only thing I was sure about was that I can't totally keep her in the dark about this.

I was lost, I shed a few tears over it while thinking of ways to do it. Then I remembered there was someone (an authority) I could talk to and ask guidance from. I did just that. 

The other night, Neal and I, Anissa on the side looking nonchalant and normal decided to sit Sabine down to tell her. 

"The doctors found yucky germs inside Mommy's body and they need to take them out. So Mommy has to go to the hospital next week and stay for a few days until she's better." 

Really basic, as I was advised by my "coach". We didn't use the C word because she wouldn't have understood. We downgraded everything to her level of understanding. She got it right away. 

What happened? Where did the germs come from? How will the doctors take them out? I always wash my hands so I don't get those germs right? 

But her biggest concern? That Mommy would be away from home for 3-4 days. She's my shadow, you see. We do everything together. Uhmmm ... more like, she insists on doing everything with me. The separation anxiety kicked in at this point and she began to cry. Sabine is not a cry baby. When she does cry, you can be sure the tears are REAL.

ONE. BIG. SIGH

I'm so glad it's all over though. It was such a scary thing to do at first. I was worried about how she would react. Anissa has known from day one because she's old enough and I was able to explain everything to her positively. The little one had to be handled with a lot more caution. 

She recovered from the news quite well. Still asks me every now and then how long I'm going to be away, but minus the tears this time. I'm hoping it won't be so hard for her the day I need to be admitted. That's on Tuesday next week!