Day 4 : Surprisingly Calm

Actual entry dated 16 August 2012

My day started at the usual time. I got up just before 6am together with the two girls, saw them off to school at around 630 then had my cup of morning coffee. Today was the day I was going back to Medical City to get my breast ultrasound results and meet with the breast surgeon again. Today was the day I would be told whether a biopsy is indeed needed. 

N and I first went to the Breast Center on the 2nd floor to claim the results. On our way to the surgeon's clinic while in the elevator, I decided to open the envelope to read the report. Although I couldn't understand most of what was on it, this particular line towards the end glared back at me

HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS OF MALIGNANCY

I froze and showed it to N. He didn't say a word. The elevator doors opened and we walked quietly hand in hand to the clinic. We were the only ones there and the doctor hadn't arrived yet. I looked at the paper and read the line over and over again until it began to sink in. I managed to stay calm for the next hour (doctor arrived late, as usual). I was first in line, having asked our driver to go to the clinic as early as 9am to have my name put on the list for today. 

She took one look at the results and said that without a doubt, we need to do the biopsy. I'm always the type to ask question after question. That's exactly what I did. I could tell she was waiting for me to break down but I didn't. I managed to focus on asking the right questions. 

We soon left the clinic with a note to be presented to the Breast Center tomorrow for my biopsy. It was after leaving the clinic that it began to dawn on me. 

One thing's for sure though 

I am holding on (for dear life) to God's promise. He is the only one who can remedy this situation. I have never prayed so hard in my life. But I am so thankful, happy and touched that I'm surrounded by so many people who care about me enough to start rosary brigades and leave my name in the Blessed Sacrament of their parish churches or offer masses for my healing. 

I can't help but think about my Dad and how he would take this if he were still alive. Atleast, from where he is, he can intercede for me and look after me all the time. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13