Milestone : Goodbye, cigarettes!

Actual entry date 8 Sept 2012

I can't believe I'm actually doing it. Today is the 5th day since I kicked this really bad habit. No cheating, not a single puff from anyone else's cigarette, not once. But if you do the math, you'll figure that I still didn't quit immediately after finding out that I have breast cancer. That's how dependent I've been on smoking for the longest time. When my Dad passed away in May, I was almost sure that would drive me to quit. It obviously didn't. In fact, I hung on to the habit even more, using sadness and stress as excuses. 

I took my first ever puff on a cigarette even before I turned 18. But I remember that I began to regularly smoke and buy my own cigarettes when I was in college. It's been this way since then except for the times I was pregnant with my girls. I quit smoking without much fuss but went back as soon as I was done breastfeeding them. 

I couldn't resist using this hahaha!!!

My days have not been the same without smoking. The first 2 days were really bad. I was irritable, I think the people at home were probably thinking I was already going through menopause haha! Seriously, it was that bad. I never thought I'd go through a horrible withdrawal stage. I wasn't prepared for it. At one point, I even found myself crying and feeling sorry for myself for having breast cancer. WHAT????  I couldn't understand why quitting smoking was doing this to me more than finding out I had cancer! It is just so weird! 

Anyway, yesterday was so much more relaxed. In fact, I had lunch with friends who used to smoke. It was the firs time we got together and didn't light up over coffee.  High five!!! 

Fortunately (and oddly), I don't feel the need to chew gum or eat candy. I'm okay with finding a diversion like reading a book or magazine, watching TV or doing stuff on my Macbook to take my mind off smoking especially when I'm at home.

This is not just to prepare myself for surgery next week. It's a permanent move to really be nicotine-free for the rest of my years. My plastic surgeon told me that smoking after breast reconstruction (even after breast augmentation) can be dangerous and can cause problems. The thought of having to deal with this  if I don't listen to her is enough to convince me that it's about time.

I can do this!!!

P.S. My Dad should be soooooo happy!