Post Mastectomy (Pain) Syndrome

I didn't mind feeling bruised and sore following my surgeries. To me, it was normal and something I needed to deal with. Besides, I had pain meds prescribed by my surgeon, which I took religiously according to her instructions. Everyday when I wake up, I note a difference in the way I feel, the way I move, the way it all happens for me from the time I get out of bed. And I've noted small but steady improvements everyday. By nature, I'm a really impatient person, so this has been quite a struggle for me as you can now begin to imagine. 

Last Sunday, I observed something different though. My arm felt extra heavy, there's been partial numbness since then. By numbness, I mean that familiar "ngawit" feeling you get when you're tired or got stuck in the same position for a prolonged period.  I had to google the English word for "ngawit" because it's one of those complicated Filipino terms that don't really have a specific English counterpart. Somehow, numbness doesn't really hit the mark. But yes, my arm feels tired and overused. Come to think of it, I insisted on driving (still last Sunday). From the house to church (15 mins away), then to DEC on Wilson, then to Shaw 500 on Shaw Blvd then home. In the evening, I drove us all to dinner because N just followed us to Hap Chan in Silver City. All city-driving and using power steering, of course. Could I have caused this sudden unfamiliar and terrible feeling on my left arm, including the armpit area? I hope it was just that and not anything internal *knocks on wood*. 

I googled a bit about it but not too much, because I wanted to avoid reading the not-so-positive things I might find about it online. I did get to see a few negative inputs so I immediately left the sites. (A reminder to everyone not to rely on Doctor Google too much. It's always best to consult your doctor. Google may cause unnecessary panic and therefore, stress.)

The pain and discomfort went up a few notches yesterday. I have a high tolerance for pain but I guess there will always be exceptions to the rule. I stayed in bed and hardly moved, except when I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to pop a pill right away, hoping that the pain would go away or, at the very least, decide to take a break and let me fall asleep. It didn't. 

I texted my surgeon and hoped that she would reply positively. I hoped it was nothing out of the ordinary and I didn't need to undergo anything (the last time, she did a needle aspiration on my armpit and it hurt like SH*T!). She eventually texted me back and told me this is all normal. The key is ... guess what, more patience. 

I woke up this morning minus the "ngawit" feeling but still somewhat in pain. The pain isn't an issue when my arm is still. It's when I move it that my face starts to cringe and I'm tempted to scream the frustration away. Okay, sorry ... slightly OA remark. But this really is a source of stress, I need to manage it well.

Before I end this entry, I need to confess something. A warning though, please do not do this. It was a stupid, hasty decision. Purely selfish and is something I wouldn't do again. My pain was more intense than usual yesterday. I finally gave up and decided to pop a pill (mine is Algesia, over-the-counter but recommended by my surgeon) after I had lunch. Whoops, not A pill but TWO. They were 325 mg each. In no time, my world was spinning and I wanted to throw up. BAD BAD BAD. The pain went away but I felt like I was on an unlimited carousel ride. :( 

That's it for the morning. I need to get ready to see three doctors today : my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon (for follow-up consults) and my oncologist so I can show her my lab test results and go into further discussion about the first chemo cycle next week!