The hardest thing to do when you find out that you're sick is tell your family. In my case, this came at the most difficult time. Even then, I never questioned and I don't recall feeling angry. I wanted to just focus on doing what I had to do to address the problem. Telling my Mom and my brother was hard, but the biggest challenge of all was how to tell my children.
Anissa is 16 years old. I knew right from the start that she had to know everything, no secrets. She's old enough to understand and goes on the internet everyday, I can't possibly lie to her about anything. I just prayed to God for strength while talking to her. It was important to me to show courage, so that she can be comforted and not worry too much. God heard me and I was able to tell Anissa everything without much drama. A co-parent in school told me recently that her daughter is amazed at Anissa's positive attitude. I'm so happy and thankful that she's dealing with this well!
Sabine, who is 6 years old, knows about my illness to a certain extent. At first, I avoided using the C word and replaced it with "germs". Lately though, I had to introduce her to the term "breast cancer" because she always hears us discussing it. I told her that my germs actually have a name and they're called Breast Cancer. I'm relieved she didn't ask more questions after that.
Cathy (Babao), during my interview with her last Friday, suggested that I look for children's books that Sabine can read. Books that can help her understand and deal with Mommy being sick with breast cancer. I felt like a total idiot! Why didn't I think of doing this before? I thanked Cathy for the suggestion and immediately went online to look.
These are the books I'm thinking of buying for Sabine
Each has a 5-star rating in Amazon.com. I'm excited to get them!
My Oncologist also offered to help prepare the girls for the changes they might see when I start undergoing chemo. I'll definitely take her up on her offer and hopefully schedule a sit-down with her and the kids very, very soon.
Our children are always our priority, even when we should be focusing on ourselves. We can't help it, it's second nature to us as parents. But when I'm sure I've done what I can to help my children understand and cope, I'll be okay and will be able to concentrate fully on getting better.
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