Saturday, October 13, 2012

Worry vs. Peace


Actual entry dated 21 August 2012

 I'm an over-protective Mom. As such, I am also a panicky Mom, a worry wart in general. But up until now, I always worried about the most trivial matters. 

Last week, I found myself worried 10 times over. I don't remember having panicked more. But well-meaning people around me helped me get out of that dark spot almost as soon as I found myself in it. 

I received countless messages telling me to BE POSITIVE and to not entertain any negative thoughts. They all told me, "Easier said than done but you have to because you can't be stressed." If it would help, also refrain from discussing what "could be" and thinking "what if...". Just focus on being healed and saved from this crisis for now. But I couldn't do it, not on my own. So I isolated myself from the rest of the world for a few minutes and prayed. 

I remember saying these words,

Lord, I come to you in all humility because I know You are all-knowing and your love is powerful and infinite. I am scared. I need YOU. Please take this burden from me because I can't handle it. I want to trust in You whole-heartedly but my fears have kept me from doing so. Forgive me for being in this condition, because I know I am not dealing with this problem the way You want me to. I ask for Your mercy and Your help. Take me out of this dark place that I am in, so that You can begin to work on my healing. I know You will hear me and grant me my prayer. 

Soon enough, I felt the burden lifted from my shoulders. That heavy feeling was gone. I was okay and I no longer felt the need to cry and feel scared. I simply asked HIM to take over. I think that's all HE was waiting for me to do. I haven't cried nor felt down or fearful since that day, not even when I felt nervous right before my chest biopsy last Friday. 

Everytime I feel a negative thought beginning to enter my mind, I immediately close my eyes to pray and drive it away. It continues to amaze me that this "trick" always works. 

I'm not saying it's all going to be good from now on. If that were the case, we would naturally feel the need to pray less and less. I'm sure God will somehow keep sending me reminders because as humans, we all have a tendency to slide, what with the many sources of temptation all around us. It will have to take constant practice for this to become an unconscious habit, but it will be so worth it. 



Here's another thing I want to share. Each of us has to have a powerful statement that we can say repeatedly each time we're in a difficult situation, to help us re-focus. It's like a mantra and all you need to do is say the phrase over and over again until you feel calmness set in.

Mine is this : Mama Mary, help me! 

If you don't have one yet, think of what you would like to use and use it all the time.

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