My kids and my cancer

HOW ARE YOUR KIDS TAKING IT?

People have asked me this many times. My kids are 10 years apart and have opposite personalities, so dealing with them requires different strategies. The teenager (16 turning 17 in March) is reserved and acts just like any teenager I know. Oftentimes, I find myself more worried about her than the little one who is only 6 (turning 7 in April). The latter is more vocal about her feelings, also more demonstrative. 

The other day, a sweet surprise arrived on my doorstep. It was a bag filled with goodies from an "old" friend who's now based in the Bay Area (which I really really miss!). Among others, she sent this

It is, of course, for the little one to read. This will be her 2nd book about this topic and I'm really thankful for the help. But the bigger surprise was this.

I'm not sure if she finished reading the book already, but I'm really happy that she somehow spoke up about the issue (yup, that's how quiet she is). I haven't read the book myself nor have I read it to Sabine. I should set aside some time to do this today. 

Having cancer as a Mom is double the difficulty, because you tend to worry about your children even more --- what they're thinking, how they're feeling, if they're coping well, if they're telling you everything, whether they're having problems focusing in school. All these things run through my mind on a daily basis. While it's not healthy to stress myself out over it, there's nothing much I can do to control it. I'm a Mom, first and foremost. It's my job to worry about my children's well-being. If there was ever a time that I felt hatred toward this illness, it would have to be the time when I had to tell my kids that I have it. 

Despite all the worrying though, my kids have proven to be tough cookies. I'm really so proud of them.